Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
