Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
