After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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