nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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