you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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