This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
