Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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