you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
