That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
