Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
