I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
