There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
