IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
