Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Its about making memories worth repressing
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
