Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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