porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
