sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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