just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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