let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
