just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
