I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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