my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
