Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
