i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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