you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
