NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
