A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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