We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
