Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
