I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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