she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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