Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
