I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
