why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Randomize
