I understand Curling. That high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
