so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
