I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
