she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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