You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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