i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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