last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
