if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
