Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
