If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
