yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
