That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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