There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Randomize
