i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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