he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
