Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
