i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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