Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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