I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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