Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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